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all die alone? One time I threw a football so hard, I almost dropped my whiskey, but I was able to catch it with my elephant trunk of a penis. I love my mom, and my grandma, and my sister. Im not saying Im the type you can take home to your mom, but Im definitely the type you can take home. (Remember, youre in the driver's seat and you have lots of options.) Finally, finish with a question that's fun to think about and isnt too complicated. Its like, how bout a little variety, you piece of shit!? Fuck, Marry, Kill: Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Dostoyevsky? It's also easy to cut-and-paste this kind of message and when it's not even that interesting to start out with, it'll be easy for a girl to ignore. And the openers that start off with humor have response rates that blow all other openers out of the water.
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Introducing Yourself and then Asking a Generic Question. Just scan the profile for a quick question to prove you looked at her profile, and if you happen to find a unique commonality or think of something above average to ask, all the better. Mid-20s people responded better to lifestyle questions, people in their early 30s liked it when suitors got personal, and people over 35 were into pop culture references, like Bears, beets or Battlestar Galactica? Downplaying your reasons for being online by saying that you don't have time for a relationship will only deter women from engaging with you at all. A longer profile is not necessarily better, and it doesn't have to be perfect.